Jamison Trumpets

It was back in the year 2005 when I used to work on a site called Gametrash. The site was created and run by Helios Loire, web designer and A+ certified ladies man. Gametrash was a website that took video games and reviewed them, first using their patented “Mushroom System”, but eventually switching back to the generic and easily understandable, “Star System.”

The Mushroom System was a simple concept indeed, but one that needed some explaining. Gametrash started as a website that was originally going to review a lot of bad games (with your occassional obligatory good ones) and give them mushrooms based on how bad they were. The more mushrooms a game got, the worse the game was.

There are many a story that go along with Gametrash, such as the fabled Paperboy Review and the elusive Mikey. Those are tales for another day, however, as this is an article to talk about Gametrash Live, a project worked on by Daniel (myself) and Kirk.

At the time when Gametrash Live was made, Helios was trying to spice up the website by putting up cartoons and some flash animations. Wanting to help out the site, I offered the idea of Gametrash Live to Helios. At that time, though, Helios hadn’t become the rich “son-of-the-whip” asshole he is today and said, “Sounds great!” Little did he know that Gametrash Live’s products would boom into what this website is today.

Gametrash Live starred three characters: Daniel, Helios, and Mike (a friend of Helios). I figured 3 was a good number of characters and stopped it there. All the voices were done by me, with the exception of Helios who played himself. Mike had a pre-pubescent voice for no apparent reason but I decided to do it since that’s the only other distinct voice I could make at the time.

The first episode of Gametrash Live was…bad to say the least. It was slow, boring, poorly animated, and just generally sucked overall. I don’t even remember any of the dialogue, or what it was about. There was mostly negative feedback towards Gametrash Live, but I was determined to make it work.

I decided to revamp Gametrash Live, make it more animated and more cinematic. I got rid of it’s “Bonus Stage-y” style of animation and tried to make it more of my own style. The second episode was a huge improvement over the first, it actually made people chuckle at the very least. There were subtle jokes, and obvious jokes; Gametrash Live was moving up.

Finally, Daniel and Helios worked out a killer script for what is now Gametrash Live 3. This one was going to be jam-packed with jokes, funny shit, and even a new character: Jamison. Like the other three characters, Jamison was based off of a real person as well: Koji. Koji was a guy from Texas who used to speak of the tales of his band days playing the trumpet. I thought it only appropriate to give the Jamison in Gametrash Live 3 the glorious texas moustache, and a shirt procaliming his love and allegiance to the trumpet.

At the time I didn’t want to take a stab at a texan accent (it would have no doubt been bad), so I decided that everytime Jamison was to speak he would be murdered: once by an opening door and twice by a 10-foot-tall Xbox memory card. He was a running physical comedy gag, and it worked great.

Gametrash Live 3 was a hit, gaining positive recognition from all eight people that visited Gametrash. It wasn’t until years later, however, that Jamison would be the best thing picked out of Gametrash Live 3. In the middle of the year 2008, Buff Drinklots, a former Gametrash reviewer and webmaster/creator of what is now Desukuran, looked through Gametrash Live 3 for nostalgia purposes, and picked out the image of Jamison because of it’s comical nature.

This image of what Jamison was became integrated throughout Dethklan, going so far as to have his wiki-page simply contain that picture or even the forums detecting the word “Jamison” and changing it to that picture. It was at the end of 2008 where Jamison dawned the armor of what is he today, Jamison Trumpets.

He ceased to truly represent that of the real Jamison, but more of his own entity. He was a different person, a much more interesting person, one who can only speak the language of the trumpet. There were many homages to Jamison, but none could capture the true essence of what made Jamison so amazing.

Since he was my creation, I decided it was fitting that the name of my website/blog be named after him and carry on the legend and name of the man who once got crushed by an Xbox memory card, the man who nosily intruded upon his neighbor’s house, the man who worked at a milk store and drank all of the milk.

So in the words of the trumpet master himself:

*brap*