Hey guys, aren’t I being ironic? I’m writing a blog post on how to write a blog. I sure am clever.
This post, however, isn’t about how to make your blog particularly popular or anything. Just take a look at my blog, odds are the only reasing you’re reading this is because I have politely asked you to do so. Apart from that though, I like to think my blog is relatively well written.
My secret? My writing has an overall purpose. Each article I post, no matter how short or long it is, has an overall theme or message that I (the author) am trying to convey to you (the reader). So since I am so successful, I figured I’d write a post on how you can up your blogging game.
Tip 1: Don’t write about your shitty dog
As I said up there, make sure your writing has a purpose. What is the point of your blog post? Do you have a particularly funny story to tell? Most people reading blogs aren’t interested in your daily activities unless you’re giving them blowjobs as a reward for doing so.
If the whole point of your blog post is that you have a dog, and your dog is super cute, and oh man you guys wish you had a dog like mine, then nobody is going to like you and they will especially hate your dog. I already hate your dog, your dog is a douche as far as I am concerned.
If your blog post is about how you got a new dog, and this dog is a rare breed of dog that churns out fuel that you use to power your car, then suddenly this dog is interesting.
Tip 2: Ask yourself “Am I a funny person”
Odds are you probably aren’t as funny as you think you are. A good test to see if other people think you are actually funny or not is to tell a joke and not laugh at your own joke like you usually do. If somebody in the room begins to convulse and dies from your joke, odds are you are bad at making jokes.
That’s ok though, you can work around that. Just try and make sure your blog posts aren’t riddled with you trying to make really lame jokes. Also, avoid the letters “lol” in your blog posts, nobody is laughing out loud. It seems very unprofessional, and only further drives my contempt for your writing style.
Tip 3: Avoid repeating yourself with repetition, which is the act of repeating yourself repetitiously
It may just be me, but if I’m reading a blog and I’m essentially reading the same thing over and over again I get really frustrated. It’s basically as if you’ve written one sentence, and stretched it out into multiple paragraphs of pure boredom that I’m suddenly being asked to read.