Jamison Trumpets

C-C-C-Combo Videos: New Player Mentality

February 23rd, 2016 by DanielRGT

It sort of comes with the territory that when new players enter a particular scene they have a frustrating and often incorrect attitude towards certain things. On the internet, of course, you’ll have to be wary of your handful of trolls, but when it comes to Super Street Fighter IV pulling in new players to the fighting game scene they can’t possibly all be trolls.

So with new games comes combo videos showcasing combos in that new game. There is a particular thing that should be known about combo videos though, and that is that they are made as a source of entertainment. The keyword in that statement being entertainment. A lot of the time I’ll watch a combo video and read a comment stating how impractical all the combos in the  respective video are.

Impractical? Of course they’re impractical, that’s sometimes sort of the point. If every combo video were meant to show only the most practical combos, it would be videos filled with nothing but Ryu doing his crouching medium kick cancelled into a fireball. In Street Fighter IV, it’s easily the most practical and useful combo. Flashy? Not even a little. Practical? Hell yes.

2-hit combos aren’t flashy, but making a video of only practical combos would be boring. This isn’t to say that 2-hit combos aren’t flashy or entertaining; James Chen’s Ode to the 2-hit Combo easily proves this wrong.

EVO 2010: A Trumptastic Recall

February 23rd, 2016 by DanielRGT

This last weekend (July 9-11) I got on a dreaded airplane and flew to fabulous (Which is just the word they use for “shiny”) Las Vegas for the purpose of attending the world’s best fighting game tournament, Evolution 2010. Going through airport security carrying around a fairly large arcade stick often has people asking, “What in the hell is that?” It actually sometimes gets people worried, because unfortunately arcade sticks happen to give off the vibe of “explosives” to those who have no clue as to what they are.

Reassuring my flight that I was not (despite popular belief) in possession of explosives, I arrived in Las Vegas with my good friend Andres “nothingxs” Velasco enormously sleep deprived. Our flight left early (5:40 AM on Thursday. We had stayed up all of Wednesday) so we were both running on only the previous day’s sleep. This soon ended up being irrelevant once we entered our hotel, Caesar’s Palace.

Now I have been to a previous Evolution tournament, back in 2008. That year, the tournament was being held in the Tropicana Hotel. The short story on that hotel is that it sucked. The long story is that it hella sucked. During our stay in the Tropicana, we quickly found out that there were two types of rooms you could have gotten, we’ll call them POS A and POS B. Now, POS A is the type of room where you get absolutely no air conditioning and it’s as hot as the surface of the sun, but on the bright side you have hot water for your showers. POS B, on the other hand, has fantastic air conditioning, some would say too good. The downside, is that you have absolutely no hot water whatsoever.

Caesar’s Palace, needless to say, was an improvement. Right off the bat we had air conditioning and hot water, so it was already the best hotel I’d ever stayed at in Las Vegas. I won’t go into too much detail, but I will say that our bathroom (which is about two times bigger than the room I have in my house) was godlike.

Unfortunately for me, I didn’t get to spend a lot of time in our amazing room. Having volunteered to be a judge (Also see: slave) at this enormous tournament, which pretty much means I was busy for several days. On Thursday, I helped people check-in to get their badges and such. On Friday, I judged a Tatsunoko vs Capcom pool and helped judge a Super Street Fighter IV pool. On Saturday, I judged a Marvel vs Capcom 2 pool (which has been a horrible experience twice over).

Judging is pretty straightforward, you’re pretty much just getting matches running and writing down the winners and losers. Occasionally, however, you get the privilege of disqualifying people who fail to show up to their match.

Back to School, Back to School

February 23rd, 2016 by DanielRGT

It’s late August, which means that if you haven’t already started your new school term (if you are in school, that is) then you are just about to start. There’s a lot of preparation that goes into returning to school, and I would be quite the asshole if I didn’t let you know exactly what you needed. To avoid reaching that level of asshole (or what I call “enlightenment”), I’m here to prepare you for school so you can go back in style.

First off, you want to make sure you are physically prepared. I’m not talking about exercising, I’m talking about having your supplies my friend. Notebooks, pencils, pens, markers, crayons, candy, a cheap van, dark basement, fun-sized chains, a functional vibrating spiked dil-

WHOA my bad, I was doing the wrong back-to-school article. What I really meant to say was just notebooks, pens, a backpack, etc. You know what I’m talking about, the essentials. When you go out and buy these items, you need to make sure you’re getting them for a bargain. If there’s a sale, snatch that shit up and buy in bulk.

For example, if notebooks are being sold for the low price of five cents you do NOT want to be like my friend who will remain unnamed (Mike). My friend bought a notebook with only thirty more pages and ended up paying one dollar and twenty five cents extra. I bought two five cent notebooks and got 40 more pages than my unfortunate friend. I was, of course, downtrodden and very sorry for my friend, so to help myself feel better I laughed about it to his face and rubbed it in.

When buying writing utensils, it’s important to realize how fragile your relationship with pens can be. Think about it, when was the last time you took your pen out to dinner? When was the last time you put on some Barry Manilow and talked up your pen until it was wearing something lacey? That’s right, it wasn’t until at least last Wednesday. With a relationship like that, you need to branch out and buy some cheaper pens. It’s not worth keeping up something that will only end in tears.

This is why I recommend buying generic Awful-Brand pens. These  pens run you about $1.50 for ten pens of less than agreeable quality. But you spend 6 dollars, and all of a sudden you have 40 pens, this guarantees at most one working pen in the lot. It’s a win-win scenario, arguably the second best type of scenario out there.

The second aspect of school comes with making friends. It’s important to be friendly to people you don’t know,  because this gives off the misconception that you are actually a nice person. Then, when they trust you, it’s time to crush them.

Wait, that’s not right. You want to…continue to be friends? I think that’s it, it’s been awhile since I’ve read up on this subject. As you can see, I don’t claim to be an expert in this area. However, this doesn’t mean that I don’t have SOME knowledge.

The first thing you want to do is try not to scare away potential friends. Let’s set up a little scenario so you can understand better. You meet a potential friend in class, you start talking and you begin to hit it off. You both like the same TV show! Wow, you guys could be great friends! Classtime is over, and there’s time in between both of your next classes, and you’re both hungry. “Hey!” you say, startling your nearby classmates, “Why don’t we get some subs?”

That’s a great idea! Keep talking over subs, this sounds like a great idea. You’ll just go right across the street though, so you offer  to drive your friend. This is the correct gesture to do, you wouldn’t want them to waste their precious gas, right? You guys walk to your car, and as you enter you hook up your iPod so that it can play through your radio. You hit Shuffle Songs, and all of a sudden the hit single by Dethklan comes up called “There’s a Big Dick in my Ass.”

All of a sudden, your friend is scared. What is this person going to do to me? Am I going to be raped? Am I going to be raped thrice? These are all valid questions going through his head, but they matter very little as he has already bolted out the passenger side door and ran back towards the school, where there are guaranteed anti-rape devices.

Super Street Fighter 4 Corner: Irrational Thinking

February 23rd, 2016 by DanielRGT

(DISCLAIMER: THIS FIRST PART IS REMINISCING AND OLD NEWS TO THOSE WHO HAVE PLAYED FIGHTING GAMES. SCROLL DOWN TO THE NEXT BOLDED DISCLAIMER PORTION TO READ THE MEAT &/OR POTATOES OF THE ARTICLE)

Let’s get serious here for a minute. Jokes aside, witty trumpet references aside, I am a person who deeply enjoys playing fighting games. I play them as much as I can without getting burn out, and I will feel like it was time relatively well spent. I’ve been doing this since 2008, when my good friend Andres “nothingxs” Velasco brought me into the scene.

I had literally just met him, and him and a couple of his friends were playing Capcom vs SNK 2. At this point in time, they were relatively decent at the game. They knew their character’s general gameplans, they knew combos, they knew who was better than others in the game. They were clearly better than me, somebody who hadn’t played a fighting game against a real person since at least the late 90s.

It was an interesting experience, however, watching them play and I got intrigued. They were trying to teach my friend Chris how to play, and nothingxs was getting frustrated because Chris was listening to about 0% of his advice. He then turned to me, a man he barely knew, and said “I bet you your friend could do this shit.”

They handed me an arcade stick, picked my characters (K-Groove Cammy, Sagat, and Blanka), and gave me one solid piece of advice: “Hit the Fierce Punch button, a lot.” This sounds like bad advice, doesn’t it? If you know anything about those 3 characters though, you’ll know that the advice they gave me was pretty damn solid for somebody who had literally never touched the game.

So I played and of course, I ended up losing; however, they ended up eating a lot of fierce punches on the way there. It was the beginning of what would eventually grow into me playing fighting games competitively. I’m not very good, I don’t win all that often, but I put real effort and aim to hopefully improve little by little. At the very least, I’d consider myself an above average player.

Then, Street Fighter 4 gets released and all of a sudden we have this newfound rush of new players! It’s fantastic, we have all the potential for all these new players to become something big, and for the scene to expand. All of that ended up happening, Evolution 2009 was fantastic and everybody left feeling better about the current situation in the fighting game world.

Then, they announced Super Street Fighter IV. Ten new characters, balance tweaks, other miscellaneous changes, everyone got hype! This brought in newer players, and even newer thinking.

(SECOND DISCLAIMER: THIS IS WHERE THE ACTUAL STUFF YOU PROBABLY CARE ABOUT READING STARTS. THIS IS ALSO THE PART WHERE PEOPLE WHO DON’T REALLY PLAY FIGHTING GAMES WILL MOST LIKELY GET CONFUSED. OOPS.)

Now, before I continue with the next part of my article, I need to explain a few fighting game terms.  Bear with me veterans, this is all shit you already know and understand.

Fighting games have things called mixups, which are a key part to all characters. Putting your opponent in a mixup, in its most basic description, is putting them in a situation where they are forced to guess. Some mixups involve the opponent having to choose whether to block high or to block low, and if they guess incorrectly they will eat a combo or take damage of some sort. Other mixups, deemed “vortexes” for some odd fucking reason, involve the opponent choosing which side they have to block on. Do they block left or do they block right? If they choose wrong, they eat a combo that resets the exact same situation and the opponent is forced to guess yet again.

These are very powerful and characters with good mixups usually end up being very strong characters.

When new players are put into these situations, they immediately freeze up and panic. It’s understandable, of course, these situations are disadvantageous for them. Being caught in a mixup sucks, but it’s been a basic part of fighting games since dinosaur times (To quote an anonymous archeologist: “That T-rex caught the velociraptor in a sick-ass mixup and the velociraptor lost the round. The next round, however, both got unblockabled by an asteroid.”).

The new player then thinks to himself, “How do I beat this? What’s the counter to this situation?” Some mixups have a clear counter, especially for characters with an uppercut. They then say, “If I mash the motion to uppercut I will eventually get it and end up being safe. This way, they can’t mix me up and I won’t lose the round to having to guess.”

This is what you see often in online matches: One player, usually more experienced, will gear their gameplan towards putting their opponent into a mixup and the weaker, less experienced player, will mash on something that is completely unsafe if blocked and profit from it. They literally can’t be mixed up, it’s impossible according to what they are doing. The obvious counter is to just bait and block the uppercut, but newer players (in general) don’t learn from their mistakes. If it hits 2/10 times, that’s a 20% success rate and they see that as fair reason to keep doing it during the mixup regardless of how much damage they eat from being punished.

McDonalds: The Employer from Deep Fried Hell

February 23rd, 2016 by DanielRGT

For those of you that personally know the J-man Trumpets himself, you’ll know that I currently work at a place called McDonalds. That’s right, the golden arches themselves have decided to employ one of the finest people in a 1-mile radius of where I live, and it’s been an educating experience for me.

First of all, you immediately learn that 98% of customers are irrational douchebags. The concept of “fast food” has blinded them to the truth so much that they expect the impossible when it comes to ordering and receiving food. Let me give you an example just so you know exactly where I’m coming from.

Let’s say, for the purposes of this hypothetical, that McDonalds sells very cheap food (Try and keep up; I know I’m blowing your mind with this hypothetical). A customer walks into the McDonalds and says to himself, “What can I have for lunch today that is light and not too filling.” The answer to his question,  of course, is 49 cheeseburgers off of the dollar menu.

The man places his order at the front counter to the greatest employee McDonalds ever did see, and he stands near the counter awaiting for that same employee to place a grotesquely huge bag of cheeseburgers in front of his fat face. Ten seconds pass by, and the man begins to panic! “Where the hell is my food? What if they forgot about me? What about what I want?” The man beckons the employee over, and asks very politely: “WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY 49 CHEESEBURGERS”

Being Sick: Tips on how to not get BODIED by sickness

February 23rd, 2016 by DanielRGT

Right now, I’m currently very ill. I have this fever

Blog Writing 101

February 23rd, 2016 by DanielRGT

Hey guys, aren’t I being ironic? I’m writing a blog post on how to write a blog. I sure am clever.

This post, however, isn’t about how to make your blog particularly popular or anything. Just take a look at my blog, odds are the only reasing you’re reading this is because I have politely asked you to do so. Apart from that though, I like to think my blog  is relatively well written.

My secret? My writing has an overall purpose. Each article I post, no matter how short or long it is, has an overall theme or message that I (the author) am trying to convey to you (the reader). So since I am so successful, I figured I’d write a post on how you can up your blogging game.

Tip 1: Don’t write about your shitty dog

As I said up there, make sure your writing has a purpose. What is the point of your blog post? Do you have a particularly funny story to tell? Most people reading blogs aren’t interested in your daily activities unless you’re giving them blowjobs as a reward for doing so.

If the whole point of your blog post is that you have a dog, and your dog is super cute, and oh man you guys wish you had a dog like mine, then nobody is going to like you and they will especially hate your dog. I already hate your dog, your dog is a douche as far as I am concerned.

If your blog post is about how you got a new dog, and this dog is a rare breed of dog that churns out fuel that you use to power your car, then suddenly this dog is interesting.

Tip 2: Ask yourself “Am I a funny person”

Odds are you probably aren’t as funny as you think you are. A good test to see if other people think you are actually funny or not is to tell a joke and not laugh at your own joke like you usually do. If somebody in the room begins to convulse and dies from your joke, odds are you are bad at making jokes.

That’s ok though, you can work around that. Just try and make sure your blog posts aren’t riddled with you trying to make really lame jokes. Also, avoid the letters “lol” in your blog posts, nobody is laughing out loud. It seems very unprofessional, and only further drives my contempt for your writing style.

Tip 3: Avoid repeating yourself with repetition, which is the act of repeating yourself repetitiously

It may just be me, but if I’m reading a blog and I’m essentially reading the same thing over and over again I get really frustrated. It’s basically as if you’ve written one sentence, and stretched it out into multiple paragraphs of pure boredom that I’m suddenly being asked to read.

Everyone Is John: When Beastiality Meets Oreo Cookies

February 23rd, 2016 by DanielRGT

This is a write-up of a session of “Everyone is John”, a game where players at a table play the voices inside the head of John, a multiple-personality schizophrenic. This is the first write-up of our first session of Everyone is John, and if there are more in the future I will probably write those as well. The session was so interesting that I knew I could write a blog post about the events that occurred in the game and it’d be a fantastic read.

It’s recommended that you read up on the rules of Everyone is John to fully grasp what is going on here.

This is written as a narrative of sorts, however whenever one of the multiple personalities switches I will denote it using a series of hyphens (—-), or use a parentheses to explain. When one of the players rolls to perform a task, I will denote this using three  asterisks (***).

Without further ado, welcome to the world of Everyone is John.

———————————————————————————————————-

John is an average man living in Minneapolis; he has a job as a mail carrier every morning and ends his day relaxing in his apartment before falling asleep. John woke up one morning, and-

———————————————————————————————————-

-decided to take a shower. After his shower, he drank some milk and got a call from his boss.

“Hey John! You were late the other times you came to work, so you better be on time today!”

John understood, and left to go perform his job as a mail carrier. On his route delivering mail, John was on the lookout for any people outside of their homes he could talk to. Luckily, an old woman was walking out of her house as John was delivering her mail.

“Oh thank you sonny” the old woman said in the most stereotypical old woman voice you ever heard.

“No problem maam. Say you look a little tense, I’m handing out free massages. Would you like one?”

***

“Oh my, that sounds wonderful. You’re such a strong young man.”

John handed the lady his phone number and she winked as he left. As he continued his route, suddenly a car came barreling through the red light. John had to make a fast maneuver and-

***

-successfully avoided colliding with the car, but in the process his own car tipped over on the side of the road. John was ok, but the person who ran the red light crashed straight into a pole and their car flipped over and caught on fire. John got out of his car and noticed people were  starting to gather. John called the ambulance and attempted to help the person who crashed.

***

As John tried to pull the man from the burning wreckage, he injured his finger by accident.

——————————————————————————————

Suddenly, John was completely unconcerned with helping the crash victim. In fact, his main priority at this point was duck suits. A duck suit is something he had to absolutely have. Noticing a bystander exiting his car to stare in awe at the fire, John immediately jumped into the car and drove off. His destination? Party City of course.

John entered Party City and walked past the cashier.

“Welcome to Party City! Can I help you?”

“Do you have a duck suit?”

“A duck suit? I think we got one, let me go check. Ah yes, here we go. I got one right here, that’ll be $15.”

John checked his wallet, he only had a single dollar.

When in doubt…

February 23rd, 2016 by DanielRGT

When it comes to writing, I have a hard time putting down the exact sentiment I’m trying to convey into words on a paper (or digital paper, the paper of the gods).

Fightman Games: The Revenge

February 23rd, 2016 by DanielRGT

Jamison Trumpets: The Blog of Daniel Rivera
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